To Cherish and To Love

27 women have lost their lives in domestic-related homicides in the last 12 months, in New South Wales alone. Law-enforcement officers have had to deal with over 28,000 reports of domestic violence in that period.

Domestic violence affects people of any age, social standing, race, culture or religion.

We are half way through the White Ribbon Day’s 16 days of activism.

My first poem touched on mental and psychological abuse and this poem is about physical abuse.

 

To Cherish and To Love

Please don’t touch me, don’t bother

I know you’re the alpha male

It has to only be your way

Or you strike and you wail

 

Belittling me so constantly

You erode my confidence

I’m never up to your standards

Yet I try without pretense

 

I live in fear of your wrath

You explode without cue

Your criticism and rants

Are known as verbal abuse

 

There are times when peace reigns

You’re my man, my knight

Who’d believe you could change

In a sudden twist of a knife

 

Do you know you hurt me

When you shove me so hard

I’m sure you don’t mean it

You’re remorseful afterward

 

It’s getting violent and dangerous

You’re frightening the kids

It’s just between you and me

Don’t go further than this

 

Do you realise you’re a bully

Picking on a child

I try to deflect your aim

While you lose it and go wild

 

A sign says Home sweet home

And is the placard on the wall

Our home is not a haven

It’s a cover of black pall

 

We whisper when you’re around

To disturb you earns a rush

Of cusses and broken bones

When a noise disturbs the hush

 

They have to leave this hell

Please, oh please, please no

Please don’t use the gun

We promise we won’t go.

 

It’s Officer Q from homicide

The little girl just won’t make it

The mum is a mess beside her

The brother’s been fatally hit

 

Baby in the cot is barely alive

The family pet fought hard

It didn’t take us long to find

The culprit hiding in the yard

 

The camera pans at the framed

Sign leaning all askew

Home Sweet Home, it seemed to mock

This is the 6 o’clock news!

 

(C) Wendy Robinson October 2015

Never believe that a few, caring people can’t change the world. For indeed, that’s all who ever have. ~ Margaret Mead

The latest domestic violence report has hit the news with the murder of an Australian mother in Florida. Link: http://www.kidspot.com.au/parenting/real-life/in-the-news/horrific-news-about-aussie-mum-on-white-ribbon-day

Disclaimer: All the above photos are courtesy of the White Ribbon Day images and other sites on the net. My thanks go to the various photographers.

 

Your Muse

This is written in honour of women who suffer from domestic abuse and violence and in particular for my friend Zoe. She is emerging from the shell of the person she had become, to blossom and shine through and to once again embrace the glorious woman she has always been and will continue to be.

 

What happened? What is love?

Is it the tingle, the rush to see each other,

The bliss of togetherness and the desire for more

Or is it the steady pace of eroding my confidence

In a light-hearted yet relenting onslaught of your

Perceived kindness and outward caring

That all can see and wonder about

In admiration and perhaps envy?

I, who love you am left in confusion and more

And my self-image torn asunder under your

Tutelage and careful grooming to morph

Myself through your sculpting hands into

Your idea or the model of your notion

The constant sound of your voice

Instructing me in how I should present

Myself to compliment the image of

How I appear in your imagination

Your perfect muse to my pathetic

Attempt to mound myself and be your

Everlasting ideal of perfection

Even my culinary creations no

Longer please you, nor the

Outfit that earned the compliments

Of others. The invitations no longer

Arrive and my friends avoid us or shun

The call for a social gathering. Perhaps

You’re right as my carefree laughter

And sense of the ridiculous are at odds

 

With all and anyway, I no longer find

Life amusing or entertaining

How is it your kind instructions only

Make me more useless and in following

Them, more clumsy and inept?

I creep down the stairs in strained silence

To ward off your irritation at the sight of me

Does this outfit become me? Is my hair in place?

I did not wear my mother’s necklace nor the

Lipstick that matches so well. I seem to have

Lost my way and no longer want to shop

My voice seems to irritate you as does the

Once lilting laugh that you treasured

How can I please you, I ask myself in vain.

Why am I a constant source of bother

A rash that itches to cause you undue pain

I feel so unworthy of your time and effort

And your patience is beginning to wear thin

I’m trying to please you but I no longer

Have it within me to conquer the fear

That is my constant companion

How did I get to where I am

Why am I so pathetic. I don’t deserve

Your kindness nor your attention

To detail. You surprise me at your attentiveness

It bewilders the pathetic person that I am

Why are you still with me?

More importantly, why am I still here?

 

(C) Wendy Robinson September 2015

Just when the caterpillar thought its life was over, it became a butterfly. ~ Proverb

 

White Ribbon Day began on November 25th and this Australian and international, male-led campaign will incorporate 16 days of Activism in promoting protection of and preventing domestic violence against women.

Domestic violence is often mistakenly viewed as a physical assault when it can also comprise of mental, emotional and psychological abuse. Mental abuse often erodes the confidence of the abused and robs them of their dignity and independence and they can end up questioning their self-worth as did my friend Zoe.

I would recommend reading Susan Chenery’s essay in Fury: Women Write about Sex, Power and Violence. “Still wrapped up in the glow of the ‘great love,’ you don’t know you’re in danger,” she states. A smart and educated woman, the author candidly relates about the mental and physical abuse she suffered at the hands of the handsome and charming Marco and her essay piece gives a clear account of ‘mental and emotional’ abuse.

Disclaimer: The images are from the White Ribbon Day photo gallery and my thanks go to the various photographers for their work.

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